Blog5: A new way of thinking

How can we cure melancholia? Many answers respond to this question, including creating potent medicine, visiting psychotherapist regularly. However, not many of us think about it in the other side: how can we stay happy and become happier? I did not find how powerful thinking in this way is until I watched the lecture series by Mr TalBen Shahar. In his lectures, I understood that it is significant to transform our minds from concentrating to wiping out what we do not want to focus on obtaining what we desire, if we really want to make a difference.

This kind of conversion seems like carrying coals to Newcastle at first sight but it did work for me. I used to be some kind of prone to be depressed. I used to tell myself, I should not be depressed anymore and I started to take actions to solve the problem. While I was determined, I found it uncomfortable because whenever I thought about dealing with it, the first perception that surged in my mind was DEPRESSION, followed by tears, pains, pressure, agony and the like. So it seemed like I took measures because there was something wrong with me, which left me less desirable to continue. However, in the lecture, I learned that I should think of being happy instead of not being depressed. Hence, I said to myself, I did so because I want to be happier. Amazingly, I became willing to improve myself, making me happier, which in turn motivated me move further. No one believes I was once easy to be depressed because now I can speak to the public confidently with spontaneous smiles, do assignments with full passion and lead a group of people well. It really makes a difference though I was shaky whether it would work.

Besides its application in psychology, what is behind this theory, thinking in positive side, tells me much more. Thinking in positive side is pivotal because of, in my opinion, two reasons. Primarily, it creates new ways to promote betterment. For instance, scientists once did a lot to figure out how to cure certain cancers. What is different now is that they spare much of concentration to how to keep healthy so that people can stay away from cancers. Another relevant point worth mentioning is that, as indicated in my own experience, it makes individuals more willing to improve. As an illustration, in China a decade ago, central government proposed a campaign named “wipe off poverty together” but it turned out that many local officers followed the instructions for the simple reason that their superiors ordered them to do so. Such is human nature that a great many people do not want to admit weakness and become defensive when they have to expose it. Later, the government carried out another plan “become wealthy in union” whose essential purpose and content are almost the same as the former plan. However, it was warmly welcomed all over the country although what they were supposed to did not change. Therefore, not only this way of thinking applies in my life, it can be put to use in many other areas as well, from health care to economics to national policies.

Thanks to this idea, I’ve opened my eyes to a new world of thinking from another dimension. Next time when others ask me how to conquer melancholia, I will say, ok, let me tell you how to stay happy and become happier.